Since Covid’s strike I have been painting every day, as I have always done. In March I worked on a commission that took me into April. After that I took up my own regular work and started a new series in Mixed Media called “Light” – painted in dark days. Apart from the shock of the locked in restrictions, my life was almost the same: painting every day, teaching (unusually, by Zoom), carrying out my domestic chores. The more significant difference was not having access to my studio and having to carve out some space to paint at home. Often, I wondered how differently others may feel from me; was it normal to continue to have an almost “normal” life?
A couple of months back, though, I started to feel very sad. There was no reason I could pinpoint. I was back at my studio, I was painting every day, classes in person were resumed. Why was I sad? Why did I feel empty? What was I missing? I felt parched but could not give the feeling a name.
I have some finished paintings and a few on the way. But I am not inspired. Often I don’t know what to paint and there is no emotional connection between me and what is on the easel. It is very difficult for me to start a painting nowadays. The intuitive rivers are running dry. Where are my intuition, my gut feelings, my connection with my work? Are they MIA, along with physical human interaction, in-person gallery exhibits, chats with friends I can hug? Am I parched because I am not an island, because I need some assurance of what the future will bring? Or because the sense of community has become an algorithm?
I now know that I am sad because I am not a virtual image to be seen on-line and Zoomed in now and then. I am sad because I am not a cutout behind a mask. I am despondent because it is the give and take of “real life” that brings inspiration to my work, and that is sorely missing.
What touches you nowadays? What do you yearn for? Does the constant, immutable view from your window restrict your imagination or does it expand it? Do you feel you are missing something important but don’t know what it is? Does Art let the light in through the cracks of the new reality?
In these restricted circumstances I felt the need for a cathartic breakthrough that would fill me with light and joy. So, after three or four unsuccessful paintings on the same canvas I had my revelation and this is the painting I would like to introduce here. “Revelation” measures 36” x 36” and was painted in oils. It is filled with light and warm colors. The shapes at the bottom of the canvas open up and reach out to receive this gift and the abundance of joy and ecstasy.
I hope it brings you the peace and hope I tried to evoke in it. I invite you to leave your comments below. I leave you with blessings and good wishes.
